My New Blog-The Front Page

I got the title from a Hollywood Movie, The Front Page, which was about a comedy about Newspapermen.

I think I chose it, stopped when I came across the name from my memory, which spins like a numbers wheel until is comes on the memory I want. A lot like some of the editing on stories in the movie.

The address is here.

Come by and say hello and maybe you'll win a visit from me, I can sleep on your carpet for a week(maybe I should have kept the prize a secret, what d'ya think?

My quitting history.

To Start with,

Smoking will not empower you to do things and make you interesting, a man to follow you are not. Quitting cigarettes and other tobacco habits will give you a longer life and give you a higher quality of life; My life over years of smoking was daring, and that because the fear it was killing me caused the habit to gain more control over me. My person, that I presented, was an avant garde individual different from every other individual. That was also something I lost when I quit smoking.
See, I was afraid of a smoking death and I was afraid of the pain of quitting. My mouth burned and  my chest would contort. I have a breathing problem anyway. I wake from a nightmare and cannot breathe, and this disease I thought was relieved by smoking. It isn't and passes without a cigarette.
So, smoking is additave to life's problems, the bed catches on fire and the paint turns yellow as does your hair and moustaches. Smoking colored my life so I quit it finally with patches. Then it was easier, to my mind I no longer cashed the checques tobacco would write, I am further away today than I ever was when I smoked but temptation is dealt throughout life and I am not tempted enough to smoke that first one, which still starts the habit over again as if I hadn't even quit.
I have a year about as a non smoker and I have quit successfully twice or three times. I played at the part of a casual smoker but if I ever smoked it soon was not in my control to quit. I preach to never start as what should be taught children. Ass hindsight will be, having the habit means giving over ones life to a chemical patch or gum and replacement foods like twinkies and sweets to stop that contortion and  burning desire.

War,
I, A quitter.

Ok, Ok, Ok

I am just reactive. I am reacting to good things and I feel others hear things wrong or somehow take everything sideways.so the balance is off. I heard from a poster at  website A that I needed to unconfuse. I am doing that. I am saying being balanced it impossible.

Writing a thing in order, etwas, this is a song, a masterpiece you are already loving, this song isn't about love. It is Love; combined without a side, bottom or top; Is love.

Once boundaries are confounded and thus contained it -UN-imprisioned, translated through cyberspace no longer is contained by definition and is. It is no longer words on a page telling nor showing where this love, song is. If this is possible then---
My effort is to make this a transmission of real space filling emotion, as long as it is being read through here; and that is a place in the heart as that organ is here. I thought briefly of holding the reader captive through making dependence upon the writer, but as that the love, or song or organ, is an organ it can not be.

I thought once can not meant; can only exist in spirit, less than ether, or non-existent type imprisoned inside of paragraphs and periods. Can not isn't that nor can be intended to; can not be means rather, resides inside of us.




I am not as mad anymore. I just checked myself out and have a lot to admit to and say: Is any of it important? Maybe I want to make friends and try too hard in other areas and so the balance thing exists in my brain or heart and eyes and so is as balanced as I can be independent but the reader going on ahead of me and contained without me knowing isn't happening. Isn't happening. I guess this makes me and the reader and my organs a transform or transforms, but exists inside of me and boundlessness will reach the reader intact.

I will certainly try from here on to be more clear, to ask for help once in a while and come. I have to remember the sex part of my makeup. I have to stay clear of cigarettes. I drink occasionally and love it. I look at porn. (a lot, when I do)

Maybe I will post pics and shape up my blog.

Peace
Xoxo

I Stank

I just quit cigarettes as well as drink two weeks ago, when I moved into this room. She wanted a non-drinker, though she drinks and it's ok for me to. I was tired of smoking and decided before I moved into this room to quit. 

I quit cigarettes once before and that was easy to do. I used the patch and quit for 10 years. I had help then from Jane Piper at the Dept. of Health. I have quit drinking all by myself as well, as it interferes with just about everything, spatial relationships, pushiness and sleepiness, everything in my life suffers.

Though it is legal and everything, I admit the Marijuana is harder. I grew my own and wont give it up, nor will I give up porn.  I have a marijuana card and have had a lot of sex.

It's like a drunk who gets sleepy when he wants to quit drinking or a hacker when he wants to give up cracking banks or private info, wont be able to. 

   Why is a hard question, because I can. I just don't want to give up all life pleasures, like money. So there is probably why. I am not dead nor am I succeptable(SP) to others wills. I am oneiric and aphasiac. I make others sleepy, the way I write and speak. 

   Why am I listened to and why do I listen to others. Some people would make a deal with the devil to have what I do. So fucking screwed up they have to have others good opinion when they are the ones who fucked things to begin with. They preach we should have and do less and they deliver less unto us.

   Now; we have less of everything AND now that they have more of everything (or somebody has it) in this world they agree maybe there should be more for everybody. But they steal as they say it. They are really the terrorists who have benefited in this Iraq, Afghanistan thing. Bush lovers when he was in office, and grew richer when Bush robbed the country of it's men and spent all poor peoples money, our countries resources, all the poor have.  Now they love Obama, a confused politician. A Nobel price winner who accepted the price admitting he thought is was a bribe. What a good man, to admit that the prize was a gift given to him to inspire him to make this war, America's problem, go away. I wish he and they would do that. He and they should realize what they have done and after thinking about it would admit it and

...would go away

   I don't see the war as my problem, I see bribery and poverty; and the gloom which Radio and TV portray, I see greed and political assassins too as America's problem, as they do because for a profit they will see and explain that is the problem. But i'm in my room and they re telling America, not telling me.

...but is is I who stink. It is I who faces his addiction with a doctor. It is I who faces a lack of morals when it comes to money. My doctor and the church and the teachers all have a job because of me. Obama has a job  because of me. It is I, who when faced with a proof that while they are the people who steal, (robbing Peter to pay Paul) and claim that we are the crazy people who should allow them to help, quit working for them as one of them. Which I am sure they agree to, but they love their piece of the money pie too. fucking. much. to.

   I help them by making work for them. I provide jobs for teachers and doctors because I can't write right and wont go to school or am sick and wont get healthy because I wont quit cigarettes and beer. 

I should help myself  by growing my own medicine, and by not buying from the bad ones the bad medicine. 

Regards,

John